Dealing with drunks and idiots

0:00 The one for the mixer, we're going to be doing that very shortly, alri

Alright folks, now then, very quickly right, we've got a competition that's still running now as we speak, okay? I suggest you go back a few videos, check out the competition that finishes today, which is the 19th of April 2007. That competition finishes 10 o'clock GMT, you can still enter it. The one for the mixer, we're going to be doing that very shortly, alright? So hold tight. Also what we'll be doing, I'll do another video just explaining how to enter. Very important, okay? Now then, what I want to talk to you about is simply... This, alright? Now then, first of all, are you a DJ and are you a mobile DJ, are you a club DJ, whatever. Do you DJ in front of a crowd of people? That's the first question. If the answer to that question is yes, then this does involve you. Okay, now then, I've been in situations many a time, many, many a time when I have had volatile, drunk people, ignorant people coming up to me.

Okay, now then, if you can take this on board and work this out, life will be one hell of a lot easier for you, okay? And I mean this most sincerely, no, no. Okay, here we go. Many a time I've had, you know, someone, I mean, you know, again, you know, you're in a nightclub situation, you're in a bar situation, your mobile wedding, whatever. You're always going to get some innumerated plonker coming up to you asking for a record or they're going to be hassling you or just generally... In a sense, wasting your time, OK? Because that's what they're doing. They're actually wasting your time. Because they're drunk, nine times out of ten, they haven't got the foggiest what they're on about. And if you ask them the following morning if you managed to see them, even though you wouldn't really want to, you know, come on then, what were you on about? Why did you hassle me? They will say, who are you? They won't know. But, what is the worst thing in the world you can do? The worst thing in the world you can do is ignore them, OK?

Because that person will, not so much insist, they will want some sort of reaction from you. I guarantee it. If you just think, you know, first impression possibly, oh god they're pissed, you know, and move away, they'll stay there. Alright? Nine times out of ten they'll stay there. They may think, oh well, waste of time, but you want that person to leave you happy. Even though they're drunk, you want that person to walk away with some sort of knowledge. It's almost as though they feel pleased and happy, even though they might not have even got what they wanted, and that is possibly initially some record to play that goes da-da-da-da-da-da-da, and it was on an album 20 years ago, and it starts off with the best. You know what I mean? But anyway, situations I've been in.

2:49 For example, someone walks up to you and they're very drunk

For example, someone walks up to you and they're very drunk. Excuse me, can you turn this off because it's crap? Now what do you do? You don't say to them, no. You don't say to them, excuse me, who the hell do you think you are? You don't say to them, look, F off, mind your own business, let me get on with my job. You have to be very philosophical. You have to almost be a psychologist. You have to read that particular situation. Every situation is different. You will never, I repeat, you will never get into the same situation twice. Every single situation will be slightly different than the other. So some guy comes up to you, oh, will you turn this music off? It's crap. And then you just have to say, I do apologise, I'm very sorry, you know, I'm sorry you don't like it. What sort of music do you like? Then you know what? What they'll do then, in their drunken state, they'll probably say, well, I like house.

Yeah, I like house too. What's your favourite house record then? Now straight away, you've got a conversation. Even though it may be a drunk conversation, you are now relating to that person, which is what it's all about. You've broken that barrier. Barrier's gone. From a split second, you think about it, that person comes up to you and they're just like, oh, who's this twat? Oh yeah, playing this shit. And then you're thinking... Who's this drunkard? What's he want? But if you can start a constructive conversation with that person, even though they could be talking about... Just agree with them. You just gotta agree with... No, no, you shouldn't say that. Just agree with them. But, again, don't for goodness sake take the piss out of them. Don't contradict them. Don't...

Look over them and look down at them. Be on the level, okay? And that is one of my philosophies. I don't care if it's a small child of three or an old age pensioner of 93, or if we're dealing with someone who lives on the street, or if we are dealing with the most richest bank manager in the world. I will respect that person for the person they are, okay? That is what it's all about. It's having respect. So, getting back to this conversation, alright? Then we're going to open up a bit of a rapport. And you know, all the time though, you see, you're thinking about what you're doing. You're concentrating really on your job. You're concentrating on the crowd. That's the most important thing as well. Concentrate on the job. But still at the same time, you've got to deal with this person. You want that person to walk away happy. You do not want that person to walk away unhappy. Because even though they're pissed, they'll still walk away unhappy. Maybe in the morning they won't remember anything.

5:42 Do you know the overlying thing about all of this?

If you like house music, then do yourself a favour and look through your records or CDs. Do you know the overlying thing about all of this? Irrelevant of the music, you as a DJ, the person's drunk, anything. It's all changed. It's gone from this person coming along saying, oh, this music's crap, to all of a sudden, it's almost like you're his mate now. You're talking to him. And if you think about it, you are really being the DJ, the centre of the attention. Straight away now, that person is talking to the person who is the centre of attention of that evening. Now they'll get a bit of a buzz for that. Psychologically, even though they may not know they're getting a buzz from it, they're getting a buzz from it.

Then you say to them, well, you like house music, fine, brilliant. What's your, you know, your favourite sort of, and they make a little dun-dun-dun like that. But have a look through your records, have a look through your CDs. And again, look, look and try and think of some really classic, classic sort of house tracks. Don't just pick the cheesiest house track going, because you never know, it could be a bit of a train spotter. And even in his drunken state, they'll probably think, why are you showing me this crap? But just try and get some classic sort of song and say, there you go, what do you think of that then? You might not even play it during the course of the evening because it might not actually fit in with the sort of music you play. But, again, you've got that little thing to talk about, OK? All the time you're doing this, this guy is looking at the CD and he's looking at your gear and he's wondering where he is and where his next drink's coming from, but you're still concentrating on the job at hand and that is pleasing the punters, alright? That's one small way. Now, again, what I want about here, the reason for this video is simply this, OK?

When you get people coming up to you and you're doing a job and they are hassling you or there's something, they're annoyed with you, they just want to talk to you, don't give them a negative attitude, okay? Because those people are paying your wages. Those people are there for one reason and one reason only. They want to be entertained, alright? Yes, they've come for the wedding, they've come for the party. Some of them perhaps don't even know there's a disco happening. Some of them perhaps haven't ever been to a disco. Thanks for watching, and I'll see you next time.

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